Ashes To Beauty

Today we have hit a new stage. There are many parts of being a mommy that are very hard, as I'm sure you all know. Today, however, was an exceptionally hard day for this pregnant mommy's heart... Now before I post this story, I want you to know I don't post this for a pitty party, but to share what God in His sovereignty chose to reveal to me through my daughters words.

So, this morning started out with me giving Lilly kisses on her cheek before I got up to make breakfast. She responded by pulling away and saying, "Don't kiss me, cause I don't love you. I only love Nanna!". I told her that was not a very nice thing to say, and she shouldn't say that. It makes mommy sad when she says she doesn't love me. She replied with, "I don't love you. I only love Nanna!" I tried to shake it off, and I went to start breakfast as she gathered up toys she wanted to play with Nan. I said, "Honey, mommy was hoping you'd play with me today". Her reply was, "I only want Nan." (should have seen that coming). So... at this point my pregnant hormonal self went into the bathroom and had a good cry before putting my big girl panties back on and going back out to finish gathering items for pancakes. 

As I sat eating breakfast, I replayed the mornings events in my mind and fought back more tears trying not to start crying at Nan's table :p. (side note- we are currently dealing with a contaminated well, so we get to spend lots of time over there, since all food washing, clean cooking bowls, pan washing etc, has to happen over there.) Anyways, as I sit in my little pitty party thinking how much it hurts that my daughter who I love with every bit of my heart, could so easily say, "I don't love you" (and yes I know deep down she doesn't truly mean that). I felt God saying... Yes it hurts, but consider this is how I feel. As Much as you love her with all of your heart.... Your everything is nothing compared to the Love I have for you, and how often do you say, "I don't love you, I love... xyz..    This pain you feel is how my heart breaks for you and all of my children when they choose to say (through words or actions), I don't love you, because I love (Insert person, or item). 

So this is how God chose to reveal his Love & Grace through my pain this morning, and sometimes it takes a little pain to drive a message home... Thank you Lord for loving me, even when I don't deserve it!

God bless all, I pray you feel God's love today as I have, and thanks for reading <3.